but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
