she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
