Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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