We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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