So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
