Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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