but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
