i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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