id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize