You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
