Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize