I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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