Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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