that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
