i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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