Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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