why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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