Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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