she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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