I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
