if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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