I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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