I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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