This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
