ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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