He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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