why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drunk is a universal language darling
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