If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
