You smell like stripper and shame
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
