It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We left the knife in your bed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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