The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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