I wannas sexs uuuuu
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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