But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
