My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
