I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize