I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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