Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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