Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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