I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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