i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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