I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
