So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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