I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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