Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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