My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
