his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
