Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
