Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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