can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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