ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm like, not good at living.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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