farters have to be the big spoon...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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