I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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