Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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