i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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