I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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