I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have post one night stand depression
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
