Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
operation have a gay friend backfired
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
