Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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