Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
