Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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