too bad you live with your parents still
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
