nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
