I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
