I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
