They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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