He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
