i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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